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Abandoned Houses by ~Tigermoth99:iconTigermoth99:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


Glimpsed before they were salted with dusk,
each like a deserted scene from Chernobyl
or Three-Mile Island: breakfast tables
abandoned, family photos left behind,
jackets still hanging on the backs of chairs.
Cutlery slowly fossilising, turning the colour
of anchovies. Their undissovable memories
chirp like Geiger counters when the street
is silent, unspooling household wiring.
Sometimes you might see patches
of dandelions in the front gardens bend,
as if in the presence of breath.
©2009 ~Tigermoth99
:icontigermoth99:

Author's Comments

I saw a row of abandoned houses in North London a few years ago. This poem is based on that memory.

I'd appreciate thoughts on the opening of the poem. Is it confusing? Does it work?

Daily Deviation

Given 2009-04-08

~Tigermoth99 paints a picturesque scene of Abandoned Houses, starting the poem very poignantly with "Glimpsed before they were salted with dusk." Fantastic imagery. (Featured by ^fllnthblnk)

Comments


love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconfllnthblnk:
^fllnthblnk Mar 30, 2009, 9:51:22 AM
This is fantastic, Chris. The imagery is powerful and appropriate. "Salted with dusk"=mega:heart::cookie:

Great work.

--
Clearfield Review: Prose, Poetry, Art.
:iconsong-of-memory:
~song-of-memory Mar 30, 2009, 11:38:18 AM
I definately agree with fllnthblnk. The two places that really caught me were "salted with dusk" (I just thought wow, that's both original and highly descriptive, not at all confusing. I definately get what you're trying to convey) and "as if in the presence of breath". Wonderful images... the whole thing has a very lonely feeling to it.

--
[link]
Photography, prose, fractals, poetry, fan art, photomanipulations and more... come check out my gallery!

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:iconravenmother1021:
~Ravenmother1021 Mar 30, 2009, 9:27:41 PM
Wonderfully written. I loved the imagery here. Very picturesque.
:icontigermoth99:
~Tigermoth99 Mar 31, 2009, 12:15:02 AM
Thanks, Will. I'm glad you liked it.
:icontigermoth99:
~Tigermoth99 Mar 31, 2009, 12:17:55 AM
Thanks, I rewrote the opening and changed a few things around to make is stronger. Glad you liked it.
:icontigermoth99:
~Tigermoth99 Mar 31, 2009, 12:18:26 AM
Thanks, glad you liked it
:iconjamberry-song:
*jamberry-song Apr 3, 2009, 2:02:38 PM
Yes, this is beautifully poignant. I agree with earlier commenters, the opening images are both clear and captivating. These lines are also gold: Their undissovable memories / chirp like Geiger counters when the street / is silent. The ending gives me goosebumps. An incredibly poignant way of describing abandoned dwellings; it has such a very aptly haunting feel.

--
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:iconnelstone:
~NelStone Apr 7, 2009, 11:02:06 PM
Damn great imagery. A well-deserved DD, man. I love it!
:icontar1988:
~Tar1988 Apr 8, 2009, 12:36:30 AM
the imagery is indeed very good in this one. A well deserved DD and a well-deserved cookie: :cookie:

--
:coffeemachine: because nothing says love like a coffeemachine

[link] => literure
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